An Alternate Ending

You and I walk the same streets in our mind
I like to think given time, we could catch some coffee on the cornerside magazine stall
But we have never met and we will never know.
I must have past you a hundred times,
We have crossed paths, bumped shoulders and smiled anxiously.
We could have had a lifetime of happiness or moment to remember,
But there’s no chance of that, we never saw each other.
Walking on curbs, sitting in the corner of that party, waiting in the line the metro gates to shut,
We were too busy to take notice of that beautiful stranger.
Trying to avoid looking alone, now we are alone and we will do anything to hide that.
Who knows this could be the point of our beautiful transition.
I have been to too many sunsets
I bet you have touched the clouds
We could share that moment of joy with one another.
So come a little closer darling
Lets warm ourselves tonight.
Its getting colder and its dark outside
Lets talk and look deep into each other’s eyes,
Darling just for a little while, keep that phone aside

On Being A Girl And Leaving Home

Hello!

It’s been such a long time since I have written anything. Either I am lacking inspiration or I am simply disappointed with whatever my creative cells conjure. Staring at the empty document on the laptop screen or even the neat white paper on my table, I am drawing a blank everywhere. So to fill the void, I am uploading something I had written a long time ago, May of this year. This too was written after a long dry spell of two years. I am refusing to call it a ‘writer’s block’, because this is not what it is. It’s more than just not having anything to write about, its also about the disappointment that accompanies everything that I do manage to write down. So here’s something out in the open air-  maybe just to remind myself that once upon a time it wasn’t so hard to articulate all the squibbly things in my head-

 

YOU ARE FIRST A GIRL

Talk nicely

Smile sweetly

Sing gently

Walk like a lady

Sit like a princess

Don’t do your lips like some drunken Joe’s mistress.

 

Now listen to me!

Don’t do your hair like that

It does not look decent

What are you wearing?

Where did you get this?

What have you done to your eyes?

Is this recent?

 

You should have been a man,

Your sister should have been a boy.

We prayed and prayed

But this must be Fate.

You are not boys but that’s alright

You are our girls and this is our delight.

We will show the world, we will bring you up just like them,

No, do not put up a fight!

There will be no further discussion,

Leave the room, you are a sore sight.

 

Listen to me! I know what is right

You will thank me in hindsight.

It is true, men are smarter

Your behaviour proves this time and again.

Is this what we get, for investing so much faith in you?

Such mediocre marks!

Such callousness!

Such frivolity!

You should have been a man

You would have known better.

 

But don’t worry, we are here

We love you, there’s no fear. 

We are urban folk, we do not believe in all this gender chit-chat,

It’s your relatives who talk like that.

They think I have time; I should try for a son.

But we will prove them wrong

Let’s show them a girl child is nothing to shun.

Go out my girl! Explore the world!

Go ahead and live your life!

You were not raised to be someone else’s wife

 

Wait! What are you doing?

Where are you going?

Who is that in this photo?

Are you listening?

Don’t be arrogant, stop replying.

Have you forgotten?

You are a girl.

Yes, I read that article about equality.

But you are not that editor’s daughter, silly.

He doesn’t care for your safety.

I do.

We still live in this society.

And I am telling you, this is for your own good.

 

Now take care and behave.

You may think you are an adult.

Living freely with your newfound young cult.

But mark my words:

We live in this society,

There are racists and misogynists and sadists.

And all the wise discussions and debates in the world won’t save you.

So stay smart and come back by nine

Keep yourself covered and you will be fine

Don’t be seen, don’t be heard

That’s the best way to live I have discovered.

 

Listen to me, you must do the following

I am sorry, I know this is unfair

But we were born women and we must think of surviving.

You must be skilled like a cook

You must be adaptable like a river brook

You must run

You must hide

You must know when to cry

You must know when to defy

You can be free like the bird

Or caged inside the hearth

You are a girl; it’s your sin and pride.

 

Come here my child, don’t cry, don’t hide your face

It’s the biggest tragedy of the human race. 

This is the 21st century but nothing has changed.

Always remember, you are first a girl.